We all need an informal board of advisors

Isolation is as bad as the lack of data.

Trying to make serious decisions on your own is a grave mistake.

Our actions and decisions are always both emotional and rational. Oftentimes, the rational side comes later to justify our decision. However, there is a simple way to bring on the rationale early on. It is to add other people to the mix.

"Ok, Greg, thank you very much. That's kind of obvious."

It is, yet I see people doing otherwise all the time.

It's tragic because talking a situation through with trusted advisors presents many benefits. You get to hear other people's advice (and hopefully, you picked someone with some expertise in the matter). They can also point out where they think you are emotionally overreacting or your biases.

But, almost more importantly, you will repeat and explain the context and situation several times. That will lead to progressive revelation; the spotlight will shine on different things each time.

Now, let's talk strategy.

1. Work with people you already know

Don't overcomplicate it. It's easier to share the messy parts of a complex situation with someone with whom you have an established relationship. You are less likely to try to hide some parts of the story.

Note how I talk about "trusted" advisors. You want to have an existing foundation of trust prior.

Spend time mapping your friends, former colleagues, clients, and bosses. Think about what you admire them for. You can do it on paper or in your head; there is no need to be super formal.

Next time you face a difficult decision, select 3 to 5 people from this list and contact them.

2. Pick the best medium and start chatting

I recommend a phone or video call to avoid the temptation of simply copying/pasting a very worked-out email. It's better to have to explain multiple times to increase the chances of progressive revelation.

It also makes it easier for the person to interject and forces you to eliminate the irrelevant details.

Tell the person you'd like to hear their thoughts on your situation. Explain why you want their opinion, and then talk to them.

I sometimes write down some notes after the call, but only sometimes.

3. Maintain the trust foundation

You can't only talk to your trusted advisors when shit hits the fan. As I mentioned, the trust foundation is primordial. To preserve it, you must maintain the relationship and talk when you don't need to.

One way to do that is to follow up once the decision has been made. Share with them how you came to it and how useful your call with them was.

Offering to reciprocate is another excellent way to reinforce the relationship.

4. How about paying for advice?

Sure, there are many coaches and consultants who can help you as well. Organizing informal advisory calls is a complement, not always a replacement for professional guidance.

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I've said time and again how I believe feedback can be problematic. But in this case, we are not talking about unsolicited feedback. The entrepreneur is in control of the call and prepared to receive feedback.

I recently took some time off to reflect. During this period, many friends have acted as trusted advisors.

Other entrepreneurs, consultants, and mentors, I have shared my situation and thoughts in detail quite a few times and witnessed the magic happen.

I know that assembling an informal board of advisors will do the same for you.

P.S: Thank you to João Aguiam who inspired this essay.

P.P.S: Have you checked my new project? It's called Papa Notes.